To Tell or Not to Tell...

This past week, Alex O'Meara over at A Sweet Life wrote a piece on disclosing your diabetes (You can read it here if you're interested). Alex talks about the different reactions we can get from people when we disclose our diabetes, as well as the struggles we face when deciding whether or not to disclose to certain people.

Seeing as diabetes is fairly new to me, this is something that I still struggle with. And it's something that I'm not sure I will ever entirely be comfortable doing. By nature, I am someone that does not enjoy the spotlight. I'm an observer, and although I am outgoing, I tend to prefer to sit back and watch when I'm in a new or unfamiliar situation. So, with diabetes being new, this is basically what I did for the first bit anyway. In the very beginning, other than my family and boyfriend, I only told 3 of my closest friends. I knew that I would need a lot of support from these people and I was also comfortable telling them because I knew they would be supportive and non-judgmental. Other than that, I didn't really tell anyone. It didn't even truly concern me for the first couple weeks that my close co-workers didn't know. At this point, I was still struggling with the diagnosis, so I would sneak away to test my blood and to take my insulin. It wasn't really until a stern talking to by my boyfriend that I considered the fact that for safety reasons, all of the people I work with closely needed to know in case of an emergency.

Although I knew that he was 100% right, I was still having a very tough time with the idea of letting people that I didn't entirely trust in on something that I considered very personal. I had a lot of fears and my biggest was of being judged. Sadly, there are so many people that think that I did something to get diabetes. They think I got it from not exercising enough or from eating too much sugar. My second biggest fear was that someone would downplay the risk of diabetes and then I would feel stupid for telling them about it. My boyfriend and family's biggest concern was that people were aware of how to help me when I couldn't help myself. Which I totally agreed with, but I still kept going back to feeling like people would think that I was being a drama queen. That when I said, "I need to eat something" or "I need sugar", that it wouldn't be taken seriously and that it would look as though I have a weakness. I work in a fairly male dominate field where we are expected to have tough skin and be able to emotionally and physically handle alot of different situations. In my head, I felt that my diabetes would be viewed as a weakness and some people may think I couldn't do my job safely anymore.

Although the risk is there for me, I have learned new ways to ensure that I remain safe at work. The biggest thing was telling my close co-workers and I'm happy to say they were very understanding. I also carry glucose on me as I go about my day because there can be times where I can be tied up with a situation and can't leave to grab something to eat. I have also started taking my insulin half way through my meals in case I get called away for something.

In Alex's article, he talks about the 80-10-10 rule. Basically, the rule is that 80% of people you meet don't feel one way or another about you; 10% of them will like you no matter what and 10% will dislike you no matter what.  I think this is a pretty neat rule. And although it's not scientific, I think it's probably pretty close to accurate. So, in the end, I decided that I'm not going to go out of my way to tell people about my diabetes but I'm no longer hiding it. I test and inject whenever and wherever, and am always happy to answer any one's questions about diabetes. I also now wear a medic-alert bracelet in case I'm around people that don't know that I have diabetes. I found that just wearing the bracelet opens up the communication lines because people in general are curious as to why I wear one.

Last week at work, I was pleasantly surprised by a co-worker who was super supportive when my blood sugar was tanking. I needed to call on them to quickly come and cover my post while I grabbed some orange juice and a quick bite to eat. I felt bad because I knew they were busy too but they told me to never hesitate to treat a low and that the job could always wait.

That made my day, and made me feel that much more understood!

Is it too much?

(A quick side note...I just added a "Glossary" tab at the top of my blog. It contains easy to understand definitions to terms that I will be using in my posts)

Something that continued to cross my mind as I considered starting a blog was whether or not it would be too much diabetes in my life. Let me explain...

With only being very newly diagnosed (just about 4 months) a big portion of my days and life has been focused on diabetes. Obviously I've had to learn the basics of the disease, which is time consuming on it's own. But I'm also a Type A perfectionist so I have completely consumed myself in learning everything and anything I can about diabetes...right NOW! My boyfriend made a comment at my appointment with my DNE this week that he has noticed that I'm always "busy with it". And he is absolutely right. I'm either testing, injecting, carb counting, trying to do the math involved in carb counting, reading about it, ordering more supplies, or just generally browsing online blogs and websites related to diabetes. It's also visible all around our home. There is my insulin pen and meter in the kitchen (and follows me around everywhere I go), glucose tablets in the bedroom, kitchen, and car, insulin in the fridge, and many resources posted on the front of the fridge. I also think alot about it and can talk alot about it at times too. And now I've decided to take on the blogging universe.

So, like I said, this makes me wonder...is it too much?

I would have to imagine that the people close to me must get tired of hearing about diabetes, whether they want to admit it or not. I've heard about PWD having experiences where their close friends or family have felt as though they should "just get over it" (meaning the diagnosis). I have to admit, I can kind of understand where people might get frustrated about the situation. Diabetes to me is an in your face disease. It is something that I always have to be thinking about; when I eat, when I exercise, when I'm travelling, when I'm at work, when I'm sick...and the list goes on. I have to somehow incorporate it and manage it in everything I do, everyday. That takes a lot of work and the people close to me are also now affected by my new life.


I suppose this post is, in a way, a tribute to my friends and family. I recognize that this can't be easy for any of them either. I know my parents worry even more now and they hope that I never have to face some of the devastating side effects that are linked to the disease. My friends now get to listen to yet another topic that I will undoubtedly at some point over stress about. And to my amazing boyfriend who stands beside me everyday and supports me through this new challenge that life has thrown our way. Thank you to all of you for everything you do for me!!

Even in the short 4 months that I've had diabetes, things already seem to be getting easier. I've had some pretty rough days with it as I learn to accept this as my life now, but overall it truly is getting better. It is my hope that blogging about my experiences will lessen the load on me as well as my friends and family. I also hope that it gives me a chance to help other PWD out there!